Good day to you, my fine readers. I am so thrilled to reintroduce myself to you all. I'm still the same person and writer as I was before, just a little more free and a lot more excited.
Things have been moving at quite the clip since about March of this year. I made the decision to leave the publishing house I was with and start the self-publishing journey. It's been nerve-wracking and scary and, honestly, I've been nauseous numerous times. Self-publishing is not easy! It's a lot of work and time and effort and you have to be organized and motivated. I struggle with those things when it comes to writing because I simply didn't think people wanted to read my stories anymore.
The journey that my latest book, Guarding Evelyn, took was a long and winding one. Truth be told, it was very hard for me to handle. (I go into the nitty gritty of the truth behind everything in my acknowledgements in the book. Feel free to pick up a copy!) Not only did I write it during the beginning of the pandemic, when I was struggling mentally (as I'm sure a lot of people were) and financially (again, just like a lot of people), but I also had like, ZERO faith in myself as a writer.
WRITING. Ugh. It's such a weird thing that we decide to do. For, like, fun...?? We sit around and daydream and have ideas. Ideas that simply won't leave us alone. And then we sit down and create these characters and go, "okay, let's make you do the things I have in my head for you to do!" and BOOM! We write. And write. And wriiiiiite. Until it feels like it's never going to be completed. Then one day, the manuscript is completed and we look at it and go, "holy shit, I made you. My blood, sweat, and tears made you! And you're simply gorgeous!" And we send it to our editor and we get it back and go, "holy shit, I made you?????? I completely suck at this. Commas?? WHAT ARE COMMAS? They're supposed to just *go* places??" Ugh. It's just a lot. And when you have poor self-esteem, like I do, it just hits you like a 2x4 to the gut. Or the face.
But we persevere because we want to be true to our characters we've created. But we also want to get our books out to the world. We want people to read what we've written. Yes, sure, a lot of writers write for themselves. I still WRITE for myself. But I'd argue that we don't publish ONLY for ourselves. Or maybe it's just me. I'm the only one who publishes my books because I want you, the reader, to read my stories. I want you to connect with my characters. I want you to feel their emotions. I want you to cry when they do, laugh when they do, and yes, I even want you to get aroused when they do. Because if I can make you do all of that, I feel like I have truly succeeded! And more than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone. Other people have nerves and fears and anxieties and issues and heartbreak and happiness and love. Especially after the last couple of years, I feel it is even more important to know that we are not alone. Period.
So, Guarding Evelyn. I self-published her because the main character would not stop bugging me. She kept saying to me, "You did not write me so people would never meet me." And she was so RIGHT. I wanted you all to read her story. To heal with her. To meet Evelyn Glass with her. To fall in love with her and to fall in love with Evelyn Glass with her. (I don't think Arden will share, though. Sorry!)
Thank you for going on this journey with me. Thank you for picking up Guarding Evelyn if you have or if you're going to. I realize how hard it is when you have a thousand books in your TBR pile, but I do hope you add Evelyn and Arden's story to the pile. If for no other reason than because they're free to be who they want to be. And so am I.
Oh, and you can purchase Guarding Evelyn here. Thank you!